would there be such a thing as a fair and just world? is it possible to bring to fruition what people have set out to achieve so long ago by producing a codex of laws describing what is not permissible and the punishments if the law was infringed upon? well people were told what they could not do, but there were a whole lot of things they can do but were not described. hence the continuation of undesirable but still permissible activities. the loopholes. is our own idea of a fair and just world an egocentric one? that it must always be to our own benefit first, others second, sometimes others need not even be considered? me, me, me. humans are always selfish.

i admit i am thinking of myself. why am i picked upon, why i am being arrowed to do so many things, why are there always these certain people who always laze around and never get noticed. sigh... but then again, this is prevalent everywhere, at work, in schools, everywhere. what hurts is that i am not able to do anything about it, while those who can never see or ignore it.

i know how ruijie feels, and sometimes i feel depressed as well. doing stuff to feel happy, to distract myself. is happiness a healthy state of mind? or is it a form of self delusion, convincing and believing i am happy. therefore by believing i will become happy. what is it that people need in their life? how do we abate depression? all i can do is just take things in my stride, exhale and then sigh, or sit in a corner and cry. fragile. a hardened exterior to protect a soft centre. bashed and cracked. are there others who feel the same way as well?

Bertram awoke @ 8:21 PM with