tired.

lazy to write anything. what people want to know, should know, and what they don't want to know. seems simple emough to leave things as they are when the entire machine is still functioning. the writer filters out what he thinks people don't want to hear, transcribes what people want to know or think they know. blissfully ignorant. saves a lot of pain and trouble in the long run.

life.

sometimes i wish life was like a comic strip. everything stops at a punchline and does not play out into a huge cruel joke. false hopes and shattered egos aside, maybe all the cruel things in life would suffer retribution some day. don't the words "apocalypse" or "armageddon" sound sexy?

ends.

is there anything to lose at all except our current state of consciousness? what happens after? what we are all attached to are but physical objects or mental concepts to which we place great importance and live our lives around them. what happens after? or if these things disappear? would we live "the simple life"? a state where we don't feel attachment to anything. is it being cold, aloof, unfeeling? or just being a contrast to what currently is?

me.

was i ever like this? did i even stop, pause and think so much before? maybe this is a moment of relevation when i start to open my eyes and scrutinise the things around me. or am i just nit-picking? living without wondering how food gets to the table, how you have to work your arse off and bust your balls before you can even get any results, without caring how what you do has an effect, however small, on the people around you. amazing how i pulled it all off before. asking parents for things which they pay for but i use, asking them for money which they give me reluctantly but i spend frivolously, not wondering what they give up to give me that amount of money. me and many others. wonder if they have awakened to reality. the dream that has gone on for far too long in all its 20 years end here.

Bertram awoke @ 11:53 AM with