when people find me listening j-pop, or japanese pop music, they invariably ask, "do you understand what you are listening to?" most times i wish they would bugger off and not bother me, but i sometimes humour them with an explanation that i do not understand the words, but i read the translations. now thinking about it, it is not the music or the lyrics which attract (though they eventually prove to be meaningful), but the range of emotions conveyed by the singer through her voice. why do i think of it and write it now? because i want to write of it. listened to a song by chihiro onitsuka titled "gekkou", was so taken by the sadness, pain and lonliness in her voice, and when i read the translated lyrics do i understand why she sang with such feelings. yet there was an emotion, a feeling conveyed that was not obviously show at all in the lyrics. that little voice was that of hope. hope for a better world, for change. yet another song that bring's tears to my eyes. why do japanese songs have so much more feeling than other songs i have heard? songs which i do not understand so i go straight to the voice and what is hidden beneath? is that the reason? you tell me. yet to be fair there are other songs i also like, english ones, mostly of angst. "why can't i" by liz phair for example. or songs by the goo goo dolls, like "black balloon" and "iris" or songs by savage garden that have strong undercurrents of emotion. the chorus of "long night" by the corrs especially appeals to something within me as well.

when we talk of emotions we most often mention pain, the desire to numb it, to not feel that pain because it hurts so much, we are scared of it and want to feel something else. yet some people immerse themselves in it, and in some twisted way enjoy it. both extremes are to be avoided, and though we dislike pain, we must feel it, because if we can feel pain we can also feel other emotions. numbing oneself to pain makes us numb to other feelings, depriving ourselves unfairly of being able to find a greater joy to overcome that pain. whatever does not kill you makes you stronger, and whatever pain that you suffered must make you stronger, to be able to endure more, to feel more of other emotions, and overcome other setbacks and disappointments that one may face in the future. life is filled with pain, but it is also filled with joy and love, and as we seek that love we shall inevitably come across the pain and sorrow along the way.

"Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own (will), is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
--- Apostle Paul

"Love, in all its fragile forms, is the one powerful, enduring force that brings real meaning to our everyday lives...but the love i mean is the fire that burns inside us all, the inner warmth that prevents our soul from freezing in the winters of despair."
--- Bradley Trevor Grieve, "The Meaning of Life"

why do i discourse so much on love? because it is not just confined to eros, but also ludus, storge, pragma, mania and agape. eros means a passionate physical love based on physical appearance, with sensual desire and longing; ludus means love is played as a game, or love is playful; storge means an affectionate love that slowly develops, based on similarity; pragma means pragmatic love; mania means highly emotional love which is unstable, the stereotype of romantic love; and agape means selfless altruistic love, or spiritual love. but no matter the form it is what causes hope to spring eternal, for man himself was born from love.

Bertram awoke @ 12:55 PM with (0) flashes of inspiration